Dear goodly people of the thereabouts of Beverly, I pray this finds you in good health, wealth and company during this fortuitous spring season.
Word has spread, dear friends, among my caravan of troubadours and raconteurs, who have thus accompanied me on a long and arduous journey across our great city, of your general melancholy and malaise as told through your interactions on the Book of Faces, among other commentary and media of the social nature.
Allow me to impart to you the secret of freedom from such inconveniences, a secret so powerful, fruitful and successful that it hath cured many others from such unnecessary and unwieldy conventions.
Yet, think of me not as a snake-oil salesperson. My methods are tried and true, and they have cured many an ailing neighbor from likewise ineptitudes.
Findeth thyself offended by the commentary from your community group page? Or yet, perhaps ye findeth thyself impelled to slander thy neighbor with pens (er ... keyboards) as mighty as the sword?
Here’s thy simple yet unassuming antidote, dear friends: stop. Just stop. Honestly, everyone stop. You could literally just stop looking at Facebook. It is totally within your power today to be less offended, less offensive and, miraculously, happier.
Go outside and smile at somebody. You might even be compelled to ask them about their day. And then, they may ask about yours. And then, who knows where the magic ends?
You guys, social media is not real. We are.